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Week 90 - Thursday - 16 August 2001

KIDDUSHIN: CHAPTER 3: MISHNAH 10

One who says to a woman, "I betrothed you," and she says, "You did not betroth me" - he is prohibited to her relatives, but she is permitted to his relatives. If she says, "You betrothed me," and he says, " I did not betroth you" - he is permitted to her relatives, but she is prohibited to his relatives. "I betrothed you," and she says, "You only betrothed my daughter" - he is prohibited to the relatives of the older one, but the older one is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the relatives of the younger one, and the younger one is permitted to his relatives.

Kehati

One who says to a woman, "I betrothed you" - in the presence of two witnesses who have left for a distant region, and she says, "You did not betroth me" - she denies his statement, he is prohibited to her relatives - e.g., her sister or her mother; he prohibited them to himself by saying that he betrothed her, but she is permitted to his relatives - e.g., his brother or his father, for she denies his claim. If she says, "You betrothed me," and he says, I did not betroth you" - he is permitted to her relatives - since he does not acknowledge her statement. We do not say that she must be telling the truth or she would not prohibit herself to everyone, and therefore he should also be prohibited to her relatives on the basis of her statement; rather, since he denies her statement, he is permitted to her relatives, but she is prohibited to his relatives - after he divorces her; but so long as he does not divorce her, she is prohibited to everyone, since one's statement about oneself is more reliable than the testimony of one hundred witnesses (Gemara, Ker. 12a).

One who says to a woman, "I betrothed you," and she says, "You only betrothed my daughter" - he is prohibited to the relatives of the older one - the relatives of the mother ("the older one" meaning the mother), but the older one is permitted to his relatives - as was explained above; he is permitted to the relatives of the younger one - the relatives of the daughter, such as her sister from her father ("the younger one" meaning the daughter), and the younger one is permitted to his relatives - our mishnah teaches that we do not say, that since the father is believed, by Torah law, regarding his daughter, the mother is believed, by Rabbinic law, regarding her daughter; rather, the mother is not believed at all regarding her daughter, who is therefore not prohibited to his relatives on the basis of her mother's statement.

KIDDUSHIN: CHAPTER 3: MISHNAH 11

"I betrothed your daughter," and she says, "You only betrothed me" - he is prohibited to the relatives of the younger one, but the younger one is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the relatives of the older one, but the older one is prohibited to his relatives.

Kehati

This mishnah is a continuation of the preceding mishnah, and does not teach any new concept. However, since the previous mishnah taught the case of a man who says, "I betrothed you, "and she says, "You only betrothed my daughter," this mishnah adds the case of who a man says, "I betrothed your daughter," and she says, "You only betrothed me."

One who says to a woman, "I betrothed your daughter" - your daughter, who is of age, (gedolah) authorized you to receive from me the money of kiddushin for her, and I betrothed her through you (Tosefot Yom Tov; see Tiferet Yisrael), and she says, "You only betrothed me" - with the money of kiddushin which I received from you, he is prohibited to the relatives of the younger one - the relatives of the daughter, since he says that he betrothed her, but the younger one - the daughter, is permitted to his relatives; he is permitted to the relatives of the older one - the relatives of the mother, but the older one - the mother, is prohibited to his relatives - as was explained in the preceding mishnah. The Gemara states that when the woman claims "You betrothed me," and the man denies her claim, we do not compel him to give her a get, for he can say, "I do not want to be prohibited to her relatives;" nevertheless, we ask him to give her a get in order to release her but he does not pay her ketubah. If, however, he gives her a get on his own initiative, we compel him to pay her the ketubah, since we consider the giving of the get an acknowledgement of his having betrothed her.

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