Torah Community Connections

Week 91 - Thursday - 23 August 2001

KIDDUSHIN: CHAPTER 4: MISHNAH 11

"I married a woman in a land beyond the sea, behold this is she, and these are her children" - he must present evidence for the woman, but he does not have to present evidence for the children. "She died and these are her children" - he must present evidence for the wife and for the children.

Kehati

This mishnah is a continuation of the preceding one and teaches us about a person who went to a distant land without a wife. If he returns with a wife and children, he must present evidence for his wife, and if she died in the distant land, and he only returns with the children, which she bore him, he must give proof regarding the woman and the children.

One who went to a distant land and came back and said: "I married a woman in a land beyond the sea, behold this is she, and these are her children" - this also refers to a case in which the children are clinging to their mother, as was explained in the preceding mishnah (Gemara), he must present evidence for the woman - he must bring proof that his wife is of proper lineage, but he does not have to present evidence for the children - that they are her children, since they are clinging to her, as was explained above. And if he came from a distant land beyond the sea and said: "I married a woman in a land beyond the sea and - "She died - there, and these are her children" - the children who came with me were born from her, he must present evidence for the wife - that she was of proper lineage, and for the children - that they were born to him from this woman.

KIDDUSHIN: CHAPTER 4: MISHNAH 12

A man may not be alone with two women, but one woman may be alone with two men. Rabbi Shimon says, Even one man may be alone with two women when his wife is with him, and he may sleep with them in an inn, since his wife watches him. A man may be alone with his mother and with his daughter, and he may sleep with them in close contact. And if they are of adult age - this one sleeps in her clothes, and this one sleeps in his clothes.

Kehati

This mishnah deals with the prohibition against being alone with women.

A man may not be alone with two women - not even with two women, even if they are of proper character, since they are light-minded, and both may easily be seduced and cover up for each other, but one woman may be alone with two men - since each one is embarrassed in front of his friend, and there is no fear that they will commit a sin.

Rabbi Shimon says, Even one man may be alone with two women, when his wife is with him, and he may sleep with them in an inn, since his wife watches him - Rabbi Shimon holds that a man is permitted to be alone with two women, when his wife is with him, and even to be with them in an inn, since his wife watches him. According to another interpretation, however, Rabbi Shimon is of the opinion that when his wife is with him, he may be alone with even one woman, and he only mentions "two women" because of the earlier use of the phrase by the First Tanna (see Hagahot Hagra). According to other commentators, the text of the mishnah reads as follows: "Rabbi Shimon says, Even one man may be alone with two women" - i.e., Rabbi Shimon disagrees with the First Tanna, and is of the opinion that just as one woman may be alone with two men, so, too, one man is permitted to be alone with two women, even if his wife is not with him. "And at the time that his wife is with him, he may sleep with them in an inn, since his wife watches him" - this section, not part of Rabbi Shimon's opinion, teaches that all authorities agree that when his wife is with him he may be alone, even with one woman (Tosafot, Alfasi, Hameiri).

A man or boy may be alone with his mother and with his daughter, and he may sleep with them in close contact - since there is no temptation in these cases, and there is no fear of sin. And if they are of adult age - if the son and the daughter have already reached maturity, i.e., the boy is at least thirteen years and one day old, and the girl twelve years and one day old; if the mother is embarrassed to be naked in front of him, then even at a younger age than this (Gemara, Rambam, Bartenura). According to one opinion in the Gemara, "adult age" means when the boy is at least twelve years and one day old, and the girl nine years and one day old, if they have brought forth signs of puberty (see also Rabbeinu Asher, who cites another interpretation), this one sleeps in her clothes, and this one sleeps in his clothes - when they have grown up it is forbidden for the son to sleep with his mother or for the daughter to sleep with her father naked; each one must sleep in his or her clothes.

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